It is time we brought the opposites together, at least inside of ourselves. As long as we don’t bring them together, we will be riding a fantasy see-saw. Actually, that is how the mind is; it gets energy from division.

I have been away from writing notes for a few weeks and it has done me good. The silence, like plain yogurt, is rather unappealing, but it pays off if we can sit long enough to benefit from stillness.

I have announced to the world that I am depressed, but that is a self-diagnosis. My neurologist’s nurse said he had no openings this month. I have a scheduled appointment with him in September, so I will just wait.

I had hoped that he would top off my tank of prozac, but alas, he didn’t.

You see, some people see spirituality as a cure-all, which it is decidedly not. I still have my own quirks, tics and unappetizing behaviors and feelings. I bet that you do, too! Human beings are pretty toxic creatures.

Recently, my opposites are: Do I increase my meds or just work harder to be still? There is no easy answer. I have a healthy distrust of psychological helpers. That is because the therapist that Bob and I saw after our daughter died went to prison for sexual deviance!

Never try to talk yourself into forgiveness; when the time comes, it will just happen. After all, life is a happening rather than a roadmap that you write.

I am 81 now and my corners are all dog-eared. I do not recognize this person in the mirror. She looks, frankly, like most old ladies look. When we are younger, we believe that surely the aging process will not effect us! Well, think again, dammit!

I am still a good writer; just haven’t been in the mood lately. Did anybody even notice that I was gone?

Vicki Woodyard