I have been away from Home for weeks now. Sliding downhill and caught up in endless worrying. Trying to protect myself from future harm, when the only harm is in being far from Home with a capital “H.”

My teacher is/was Vernon Howard, but I have read hundreds of books in the hope that I would wake up. I forgot how powerful his words are.

It doesn’t matter that I have had a relapse; the Entire Enchilada of Truth has always been available. Someone told us to seek in order to find. So we spend decades seeking truth where it can never be found. Where is that, you may ask me. That is the only question that I need ask.

The Truth can only be found within the Self that we all are. I have been obsessively worrying over future medical tests and frantically searching for a way for me to be comforted.

I will say that his words below helped me this morning in a fresh new way.

“What a relief to no longer give advice to others.”

“Does anything really matter except to have inner wholeness?”

“Fighting the scary situation is the same thing as fighting yourself.”

“Understand your reactions by slowing them down.”

So I ate a huge helping of humble pie. I have wandered away from his teachings, thinking that the words of others would surely help me, as his did not. But in a profound sense, I return to the “I am” awareness that Vernon so faithfully taught. And I am a grateful student. His gift was taking truth and putting it into powerful sentences.

The old hymnals ring in my ears. “Rock of Ages cleft for me, let me hide myself in Thee.”

Yes, that is an old chestnut and at the same time, it is the wisdom of the ages. Before we can come into the understanding that we are all the Self, we must bow down to Wisdom itself. It never tires of teaching us.

Vicki Woodyard