I Didn’t Sleep a Wink
I didn’t sleep a wink last night and that showed me that the neuropathy “burn” is in my arms and legs now. Of course I am dismayed.
As I lay there around five a.m. I begin to have a lot of insights that I wouldn’t have had otherwise.
The phrase “rooted and grounded in our being” was one of them. I understand what this means now. I suppose it is different for everyone, but for me, it means faithfulness to what in me is real.
Vernon Howard was a true teacher and therefore, he “rooted out” the falseness in us by his sternness. What was left was exhaustion and despair. All of his students underwent the same strip down. He took our vanity and our false hopes that we could “get it.” None of us did.
You see, truth does the impossible. “My kingdom is not of this world.”
Truth crucifies the ego, but it is a slow and painful death for most. We like to think that we can have it both ways, but we can’t.
Awakening is about loss and how you respond to it.
Vernon saw to it that our pockets were turned inside out. He robbed us—not of our money, but of our paper-thin defenses.
I try to mirror that when I write these essays.
If you are responding to what I write, please make a quarterly donation; I feel that is a fair thing to ask. Self-respect demands that I ask.
Vicki Woodyard