The calendar pages are flying off now. Mass shootings, political corruption, war breaking out individually or en masse; what has mankind become? Kind of unkind, it seems to me.

Tonight as Rob and I ate pizza at the kitchen table, I told him family stories that are funny and it was pleasant. He has gone out tonight and I have just started watching another k-drama. Probably should write a few lines to you.

Saw my neurologist a few days ago and he seemed rather absent-minded. I have him on a pedestal and he is just as human as I am. But he is such a good soul.

Rob drove me there, of course, so we had a burger at a neighborhood bar and grill. My calendar is being scrawled on as October hightails it out of here. The lawn needs to be over-seeded next week but it needs mowing first; that is, if Grant can work me into his schedule.

My life sucks so hard and yet I have much to be grateful for. For much of his life, Rob and I have not gotten along well. But now he is the Man of the Hour. He is chef, chauffeur, I could go on and on. Life can never be figured out.

I have been a perfectionist all of my life and it has gotten me nowhere, for that is an impossible standard. What I have truly wanted was to become enlightened. I know….ridiculous! Now that most of my life is in the rearview mirror, I am happy to simply get through each day and night. (Each brings its particular set of problems.)

I truly love wisdom teachings, but applying them is almost impossible. As I wrote in my first book, “enlightenment is a dirty word.”

Once the “e” word is seen through, life itself becomes your teacher, not what such and such a teacher said. Jesus is an exception, however. The Book of John rings in my heart while my head forgets everything but the minutiae of daily living.

And my sweet tooth grows as my memory fades. I can never eat enough chocolate, although Lord knows, I have always eaten my share.

I know now that we are all alike, doomed to repeat our lessons until we actually see that being teachable is a very high state of being. I can still remember how exciting the first day of school was, when you read the list of names to see what class you were in! Now everything has been tossed into the junk bin of my memory and I am lucky to remember anything.

I shall close this epistle with a line from John O’Donohue’s poem, “For The One Who Is Exhausted, a Blessing. (Thanks to Lynda Essman, who posted the poem on her Facebook Page.)

“Gradually, you will return to yourself,
Having learned a new respect for your heart
And the joy that dwells far within slow time.”

Hearts need to be fed just as the mind and body do. I wish you joy that can only be found when you have become a little child again.

Vicki Woodyard