I have tried so hard to get it. Invested heavily in books on how to become enlightened ad nauseam. My appetite for awakening was boundless. I am a fast reader but a slow learner. It’s like human beings were given this earth that came with no instructions. If we wanted a family, we had to grow our own. (Insert giggle.)

So in the first paragraph I have shown you the problem so far. It can’t be learned from a teacher or a book. But I fell in love with the story of enlightenment.

Other people (by the thousands) reported that they had gotten it. All I had gotten was the price I paid for books on how to get it.

I was in my forties back then. Now I am old. I have learned bits and pieces of enlightenment, but truth to tell, God has hidden it so well that no ego can find it!

I have done maximum time in Grief Prison and that stripped a lot of falsehood from me. I started writing when my beloved husband left the earth plane in 2004.

Fast forward almost twenty years. I am on medications for neuropathy and am getting weaker from the condition.

The meds make me forgetful, but they alleviate the pain.

I am learning gratitude in the form of a wonderful neurologist who has never let me down.

My son has become a great cook and drives me anywhere I want to go.

Each day I realize how off the mark I am. And that, my friends, is enlightenment.

If you have any desire to become enlightened, you will not find it when you are looking for it.

You find it when gratitude is the grounding force in your life.

For every essay I have written (and they number in the thousands) I have always mentioned suffering. And suffering consciously is the way to get it.

So suffer until the world looks level. Report to me if it changes your mind about wanting to become enlightened.

All I want is my own gratitude for a lifetime of suffering. And this, my friends, is “do-able.” Enlightenment is just a concept and concepts will only lead you into boredom. Gratitude is a delicious dessert after a meal of worldly temptations.

Vicki Woodyard