I never belonged anywhere, although it appeared that I did. Once you see through all the lies at once, it is rather freeing to stand alone.

That is why I was led to Vernon Howard, that no-nonsense boogeyman of a teacher. He yelled the truth at us and we loved it, for we knew he saw through our lies.

Society is built lie upon lie and children are innocent until they are old enough to see through the games that grownups play.

Becoming free is not a choice that many of us are interested in because it requires you to face the lies. And yes, you are part of the echo chamber that they reverberate in.

My husband Bob was led to Vernon at the same time that I was, so we flew out to hear him speak. That began a decade of visits until Vernon’s death in the late eighties. (I don’t recall exactly when it was.)

Then came Bob’s cancer and I was left to grieve and study and that is what I have been doing for years. But the grief is now small enough to bear and studying is no longer necessary for me. I write instead.

I never belonged anywhere; belonging is a lie in and of itself. It is perpetuated by those uninterested in what it takes to live an inner life.

Living an inner life allows me to beat the drum of these essays any time I feel the urge come upon me.

Belonging anywhere just puts off the inevitable self-discovery that some of us are called to do.

I never discuss my inner life with anyone except in these notes. You know how it is….

Deep inside of us there is a knowing with a capital “K.” That knowing loves you and will never lead you astray.

Believe you are strong enough to bear the burden of truth and it will become light. And so will you.

Vicki Woodyard