It is hard to feel pessimistic when spring is flooding our vision with chartreuse greenery, yellow daffodils and colorful buds on flowering trees everywhere. Our spirits are ready to welcome the new season.
However, the old nature persists in its negativity; that is how it retains control over us.
I had a dream last night where I was forced to move out of my house because drug users had taken it over. Strangely, when I finally agreed to move, I begin to experience moments of hope.
In my life, hope has died many times over, but every day gives us another chance.
I return to the teachings of the Master: “Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.” There is beauty everywhere we look in spring, but the ego remains negative and fearful.
As I write these notes, I see that I am in the home stretch now. The teachings are sometimes bearing fruit and sometimes not. I still wrestle with the evil in this world; that’s for sure.
I look inside to find spring and I notice a faint bit of hope. “Be of good cheer,” said Jesus to his followers. And I poise myself to start the day off cheerfully. It won’t last long, though. Before I know it, a chain of negative thoughts will begin to penetrate my good mood. Thoughts about the yard and the house, about how I need to lower my A1C, etc.
The world we live in is in peril for many different reasons. If we are not careful, there will be another metaphoric (or literal) flood. Right now you can see rivers jumping their banks and tornadoes striking all over. For too long now we have been wildly irresponsible. It looks like payback time is coming.
What is a good spiritual student to do? Vernon Howard told us not to fight this world, that true spiritual work is within.
I poise myself on the brink of inner work, but first I must eat a chocolate croissant washed down with a cup of coffee. (I am no renunciate!)
I am asleep dreaming that I am awake; the net of sleep has fallen over everything and the kingdom is far from me.
All I can do is take note of how asleep I am.
This is enough and plenty.
Vicki Woodyard
Your essay was as cheerful as spring itself. Despite it being momentary, it is so good to see the beautiful colors and feel the warm air. We do need to return as often as possible to our inner work; and as you wrote —- see that we are asleep. Thank you!