Life is a mixed bag; one day you’re up and the next day you’re down. We live in these incredibly complex body/minds that are exposed to negativity in every possible form.

When we start traveling the inner path back home to our essence, we read lots of books and look online for teachings that may jump out at us. We may join discussion groups about awakening or keep notes about our progress, or lack thereof.

We instinctively know not to tell friends or family about how deep we are going, lest they turn and rend us. The tribe wants everyone to conform and the tribe can be anything from a church membership or a book club. We know better than to share what we have fallen in love with.

To speak personally, I don’t have a tribe anymore. That is a relief that comes in many forms. My time is my own and I can study at leisure.

Leaving the world happens gradually, so nothing changes that much.

When you leave the world, what fills the vacuum? More me-time, and that is always a good thing. In this time apart from the world, we ponder the words of saints and sages.

We now see that although we may have left the world, the world has not left us. Now begins our inner battle against negative elements of our very own selves. Guilt kicks in and so does self-doubt.

This is where we live and move and eat our dinner now. In a private search for God rather than a public one.

The books have been read and the true teachings remain just a bit out of reach for us. But we keep on keeping on.

Every day some sort of inner disturbance arises as we peek into the world in which we used to live. Strangely, that world does not miss us. Our dropping out was actually a private thing.

We are now halfway to heaven and halfway away from hell. It is a delicate balance. The path is more of a tightrope than any found in a circus.

And this is what my writing is about. Teetering in the air not knowing if our balance will hold or not. It won’t; everyone falls down repeatedly.

Falling down leads us to humility. We used to be cocksure of how enlightened we were. Now we know that humility is being learned one fall at a time.

The hand of God is always being held out to us, but our attention is turned in the wrong direction. Once we see that, we turn toward Him at long last. Stripped of everything, we lack nothing. End of sermon. Amen.

Vicki Woodyard