I am happiest when I remember that I am only the witness to an ongoing play of consciousness. It is amazing that the play goes on regardless of knowing that we are the one Self.

In the morning after breakfast I sit in my chair and enter the silence. I know how to get there; what I don’t remember is that at some point I will get lost in the dream again. And in the dream, just as in a sleeping dream, I will play my part mechanically. I will have no memory of myself sitting in the chair watching the play of awareness without getting involved in it.

I will have a cup of coffee with a cookie and browse YouTube, where awareness swiftly disappears. I will buy into different ideas while I am there watching mechanically. It is so easy for me to be taken in.

Freedom happens only when we choose awareness over thought, for thought is the enemy of awareness. Others, like myself, are always seeking immunity from our actions, yet the universe knows nothing about our desire to have our cake and eat it, too.

We feel bound to our desires and so we do and say painful things to ourselves and to others. We hope to avoid judgement, but we ourselves are busy being judgmental. Is there no escape from the nightmare of humanhood?

Only awareness can break through the dream state. Happily, awareness is our true nature.

We come and go from the daily drama of thinking that we are separated from our true nature. It is then that we hurt ourselves and others. It is then that we forget we ever studied truth.

As soon as I leave the house, I leave awareness. I go to the grocery without a single moment of awareness. I move through the aisles zombie-like, scoring treats for myself while pretending to want to eat healthily.

At home I remember myself once again, but not entirely. The dreamer is sound asleep and cannot wake up without hard inner work. To throw off the dream is to be the Self in all beings. We are not “others.” We are all the Self in disguise.

Vicki Woodyard