I started rewatching “North by Northwest,” that famous edge-of-your-seat thriller written by Alfred Hitchcock. Suddenly I had an intense awakening moment, almost as intense as the movie. I saw how I spend my life explaining myself to people and then explaining the world to myself. And that’s all it is, one explanation after another!

Of course, all this is happening while you are in a state of sleep, you might say a case of mistaken identity. You were brainwashed into thinking that you must act the role of (insert your name here), no matter whether you are comfortable with the role or not.

I find myself engaged in a conversation with someone and acting the part of Vicki. I sense it’s just an act, but I know I must not reveal that I know that it is only an act. Why? Because then the person I am talking to would not know what to do next! So I keep on playing the role in order to “look normal.”

If I stopped the conversation and said, “I used to think that I had to play the role of Vicki, but now I know that I am not her.” And of course, they would think I had lost my mind. Yes, I lost my mind a long time ago and am just now realizing it. And along with this realization comes the certain knowledge that the world is one big con game.

I want out but have no idea how to make a graceful exit from all future conversations in which I am forced to play my role so that someone else can play their role. A tit for tat, if you will. Another round of insanity.

What I have done is leave the world inwardly, if not outwardly. At this point you may be nodding your head. “So the whole world is a stage,” just as Shakespeare said so many centuries ago. I have merely been “strutting and fretting my hour upon the stage,” to quote the bard himself.

I live a simple life as against the complications of the lives most people lead. So I find myself inwardly apologizing for living such a dull life, which I am doing by choice, mind you! But I cannot reveal why I have made such a decision or they might think me mad.

I study truth and the truth as opposed to the fiction of the world. But I cannot relay this message to sleeping human beings, now can I? I bet you know exactly what I am getting at, don’t you? You can probably say it better than I can. I got out of Dodge a long time ago and now live an extremely boring life, all the better to work on myself, my dear. All the better to work on myself.

Vicki Woodyard