The Last Resort

Emptiness is a last resort, isn’t it? You’ve read volumes and volumes of self-help books, perhaps turned to books about the Tao, the mystic path, etc. and so forth. “If I knew then, what I know now,” you mumble to yourself.

You get to a somewhat intellectual abstract emptiness that quickly turns into the latest ego trick. You try to convince yourself that you are growing, right?

We’ve all been conning ourselves for so long now about some many things. That being online with spiritual people is worthwhile. That striving to be no one is where it’s at (and you know you are crammed full of “someone.”) We all are; you are not unique.

How many spiritual teachings have you gone through over the years?

How much inner peace do you consistently have?

I love myself more when I have a good haircut and some sort of chocolate stash. Oh, I know that is impermanence at its best, but the body has to be lured into something soothing and chocolate does it for me.

I sit and sit and sit and still I am sitting with “me.”

I can see her in the mirror and frankly, she has morphed into an old lady. Ouch. I didn’t expect that.

Honesty is the blessed policy, or so they say. My mother used to say I was SO honest. And she was right. That is all I have going for me. That and a keyboard with the letters wearing off.

All questions can be answered but you are still crammed full of ego.

Every desire can be satisfied and you are still in chains.

You’ve read the scriptures and done time behind bars of thoughts and feelings.

It isn’t enough. Nothing ever is.

Oh, wait, there IS one more thing. Emptiness.

Can you stand the earth- shattering stillness?

Can you silence thoughts yet? I can’t.

Vicki Woodyard