“Being authentic is your entire satisfaction.” Vernon Howard said that and superficially and immediately, we say a hearty “Hell, yeah!” But notice it has the word “hell” in it. What’s that all about?
It’s about lying to yourself every time you do things you never wanted to do or go places that you never wanted to be.
Introverts suffer from being inauthentic in an attempt to stave off criticism. You see, we are happiest at home doing nothing as compared to going out doing everything we dislike doing. “What is that?,”you might be asking. Oh, chitchatting about this and that, that’s what.
Introverts love nothing better than getting out of things they never wanted to do. The dreaded invitation comes and you cringe inwardly. “How can I get out of this?” You can’t unless you make up a reasonable excuse or simply say no. The latter never happens, sadly. So you go and come home drained once again.
Vernon knew about all of us; he knew how seldom we were authentic in a group of people. It has ever been thus. He knew that we fear saying no. But we need to say it, at least occasionally, if we are ever to be truly happy in life.
So this note is all about the word “no.”
A no to the world is a yes to yourself.
Conforming to avoid criticism is not only the booby prize, it is you at your most inauthentic.
I want to be entirely satisfied, so I will have to be entirely authentic. Starting now.
Vicki Woodyard
When one might actually have the authenticity and bravery to say, “No,” that person gets challenged by those who cannot accept someone not agreeing to what is being asked. The song, “What part of no don’t you understand?” really came to my thoughts after reading your message and looking back up at the two little cubes spelling out…”NO” at the top of the page. It is a very short word packed and full of meaning.
You have put the dilemma into precise terms. I have left society, which is a continual challenge to lie in the face of what is your actual truth.