Renewal

There is only one way to true renewal; you must know consciously how terrified you are. This terror is a genetic inheritance and we will go to any lengths to cover it up.

Mine was easily discerned; I had agoraphobia for decades and I did everything I could to avoid socializing with people. (I still avoid it but now know it is because my True Self is not into socializing!) It is the False Self that I trot out to prevent discovery.

If you are wondering what would be discovered about me, it is the same thing that would be discovered about everyone; we are playing false because we are afraid of being found out. It would be found out that behind the facade lurks our basic TERROR of being found out. The ego is a fraud fostered by society. Once you see this, you might say that seeing is freeing.

At Vernon Howard’s school, he had everyone wondering how long they could keep up the facade in the face of truth. He overburdened all of us so that it was impossible to lie easily about how okay we were. Gone was the usual social veneer. In fact, students that had been there for a while almost hazed the visitors by ignoring them, putting their work on them and them skipping away. (This infuriated me.)

Vernon watched it all and occasionally he would admonish the students for their behavior while letting the new students know that he knew what they were going through.

He often talked about the Showcase Personality that must be discarded in favor of being totally vulnerable. I did a lot of crying when I was there. I was indignant about how rudely I was treated by the older students. This was not Sunday school where everyone puts on their best false face; it was an esoteric school hiding in plain sight.

Only the Truth is real. Now I go back and read the book of John in the New Testament and see how closely The Work is addressing the ancient issues of mankind. Jesus is still speaking to the inner man or woman. The Truth never fails; it is we that do.

How does renewal happen? It happens when we drop our falseness and dare to feel the depth of the pain that we are in. This pain happens because we are living on the intellectual level and have suppressed the truth so that we can play false to society.

Time to be truly renewed. Confession is healing. You are never asked to confess to anyone directly. You are only asked to confess to your Higher Self, which is always listening.

Vicki Woodyard