“When you close your eyes to the world, they open to the light of your own soul.”

A long time ago Jerry Katz called me “a word sculptor.” I hadn’t thought of that in years. Back then I was posting essays on Jerry’s Non-Duality Salon and in the middle of great grief. Now I see that what he said is true. I write by letting my spirit guide me to shape and mold an essay. It is easy for me because it is the only thing that I can do on an artistic level. But my words pertain to the soul rising from the chains of the ego. I do it because I do it.

It is pre-dawn here in Atlanta and I have eaten breakfast and had a cup of tea. What shape will my words take today? Hmmm.

We are all given a human body that is an actor on the human stage; we have Shakespeare to thank for that description. “He struts and frets his hours on the stage and then is heard no more.” That is true. We all fret more than we strut; our only chance of true escape is by knowing we have no free will. What we need is grace to rise above what happens to us. It is all beyond our control. I do not invent or paint or do anything else creatively. This is what I offer.

Before we come to grace, we have to do our inner work and sometimes it feels impossible to rise above our feelings. Our feelings are powerful inhibitors of grace because they are so negative. So the tool we use is to admit our failings, to let things happen in due course. But who is able to do that?

I watch Vicki make mistakes day in and day out. She is a prisoner of her destiny, yet there is a key that will unlock the door of grace. Will this be the day that she actually uses it?

I call myself “Vicki” when I speak of my personality with its complex and contrary traits. These were assigned her at birth by her genetic makeup. Make no mistake about that. She is not free of those.

So what is grace but self-acceptance and forgiveness? And how do I quiet Vicki? The only way I have found to do this is by telling the truth to myself. Vicki is strong and weak at the same time. She is ruled by the tides of her persona and can do nothing but accept this. This is the divine plan.

Vernon Howard used to tell us that all is well and so it is. The love we bear so heavily is turned into the light of the soul. We cannot access this; we can only be it. In this way alone do we come to grace.

Leonard Cohen is a muse for me. “There is a crack in everything; that’s how the light gets in.” And that is what I write about. Don’t fight the cracks; they are essential to becoming a force for good in this fallen world.

Vicki Woodyard