My younger brother is so sick and has been getting worse. He is in the hospital and will be discharged to a skilled nursing facility near a hospital when he improves a bit. I cannot imagine what he has been going through for months now.

I have had much experience with this situation. It has been 17 years since Bob died, but the scars remain on a subconscious level. I remember how I was pounded down emotionally and couldn’t do much of anything. To this day, I try to avoid stressful situations.

Studying truth suddenly changes to simply experiencing chaos and darkness. All I could do was the most minimum things. Get dressed and cope with what the day delivered to me.

All these years of stress have left me in a place where silence and solitude seem like favors from God. I don’t give a rap about a social life. I used to like going to Tai Chi at the hospital where Bob was giving his treatment, but I have given up driving. Now I enjoy a trip to the grocery or getting a haircut. My main treat is TV and the internet and a new Smart TV is being delivered today. Rob will have to set it up, so it will take a while to actually start using it.

Yesterday the grocery was crowded, as it always is on Sunday afternoons. I succumbed to getting sugary treats even though my doctor visit is a week from today. I haven’t been in for a real visit in almost 2 years.

What does all of this have to do with awakening? Its program is always running in the background although I totally forget to tune into it. Yes, it is just like a radio program that is useless to you unless you take time to find its frequency, but it is worth the effort.

We human beings are easily distracted and that is when we forget the existence of this inner radio. Creature comforts make us think we do not need a higher energy, but we really do require it. Otherwise, we begin to fret and argue and feel a great loneliness set in.

Well, I am running out of space so I shall go and get ready to face the day. Aloha!

Vicki Woodyard