I wrote about the noise yesterday and today it is amping up for its usual holiday intrusion on the silence. “Forget all intellectual versions of non-duality and move into the ancient stillness of the Soul. The noise is keeping us from it and that has to stop.”

I had to go upstairs to fetch ribbon, tags, etc. I was so winded I had to stop and lie down on the floor before coming back downstairs. I am perfectly healthy except for the neuropathy and that is the cause of my increasing weakness.

The grief over the missing ones at our table is mostly over. I gamely wrapped a couple of things and realized that my hand is too shaky to write on name tags; I will ask Rob to do that.

He is meeting friends for lunch and then doing the grocery shopping. I made cabbage soup and today it makes me feel ill to think about eating it again. I am also over the taste of almonds in cookies and I have always liked them.

I am a Grinch; there is no getting around it. The only thing that would cheer me up is if Santa could wave a magic wand and make the shaking stop. A tremor works in reverse to Parkinson’s. I don’t shake until I try to do something like write and then my hand shakes more and more wildly.

Two people just don’t a holiday make. If any of you fail to feel the thrill of the season, you are not alone. Hallmark holidays are for Hallmark profit and those desperate to believe.

The words of Jesus cut through all of the static: “My kingdom is not of this world.” I so get that!

Vicki Woodyard