Our little brother came home from the hospital after about two weeks spent there. He will now be undergoing dialysis permanently. This is a heavy cross to bear, but his brief email to us was cheerful. He is so glad to be home. His daughter had said he thought he was in a motel, rather than the hospital. That shows you how disoriented he had become.
He will need people to come to the house for his physical therapy, etc., as he has grown weak over a period of months.
Yesterday Rob and I made a trip to a grocery store,(Lydl ) and I enjoyed getting out of the house. Filled my basket with Christmas goodies. Then he went to play Trivia and I watched TV for a while.
Last night’s dream had a common theme. I had walked a long way from our beach motel and I was trying to get back. It was much further than I thought and I kept worrying about the family worrying about me, as I hadn’t told them I was going for a walk.
I asked people for help repeatedly, but it did not come. I took elevators, climbed uphill, nothing worked. These frustration dreams of trying to get back home are common to everyone.
The ego has no interest in returning home, while the soul has never left. We live in fear and paradox while under the influence of our lower nature. It has ever been thus.
Everyone is carrying a heavy burden during the holidays; they just differ in a lot of ways. We all carry a cross of confusion. “Why can’t I understand how life works?” Because it seldom does.
The more I study, the more complications seem to arise. You see, study is one of the lowest rungs on the “Do-It-Yourself” ladder. Higher help is needed and is quite available.
Cry out and nothing may seem to happen. But let me assure you that total weakness is necessary. My brother is there now and being brushed with angel wings. I pray they carry him over the roughest ground.
Vicki Woodyard
I will add my prayers that the angels carry your brother over the roughest ground. My father was on 3 times a week complete dialysis for a time. Ron’s older sister is dealing with it now. The confusion was pretty bad when the toxins built up.
Seems the ego is forever leading us down “the garden path” whispering in our ears that we are strong enough, brave enough, ect. to withstand anything. And sometimes we’re just not! That’s when you give it all away and finally surrender. As you said Vicki, thats when higher help is at hand.
Thank you Vicki for this. Ineeded to feel your words.
Peace,
Tami
Thank you, Tami. He has a tough road ahead of him, as you know from your family’s experience. Being severely diabetic, his diet is quite limited. Thus far, he goes in and out of the hospital frequently. I was amazed that he was able to email me briefly yesterday.