I have everything and I have nothing; this is the state of letting go and letting God. But caught in between the opposites, I try and live my own life. What I end up with is a big pile of nothing. I feel stress, opposition and false enthusiasm. I do all the wrong things and can make none of them work. I am, quite honestly, “caught in a trap,” like in Elvis’ song.

Rob and I have the simplest Christmas possible; this is the eighteenth since Bob passed away. For us, complications come often enough without creating them.

This morning I found a recipe for Cabbage Soup to make for supper. Then I sat down on the floor and wiped down all of the kitchen cabinets. Once that was done, I put out a handful of Christmas things and washed the kitchen windows from the inside.

When Rob and I talked, I asked him to wash the front outside windows and put a bow on the mailbox and hang the wreath on the kitchen door. Bob and I bought this wreath about forty years ago. Parts of it have come unglued and been reglued. Sorta like my body! As human beings, we all have expiration dates.

I slept poorly last night. Cutting out one pill for my neuropathy at night caused breakthrough pain, so I tossed and turned. I will let the doctor know if I need to try another drug.

Rob is getting his booster on Monday afternoon. He said he slept poorly the night before, so yes, the holiday stress has begun. Stir in the political unrest and you have the holidays.

Back to the state of having nothing and everything, try it; you’ll like it. No wrapping need be done, no exchanges need be made. One state fits all. Unless of course, you want a cherry on top. That is always extra!

Vicki Woodyard