There is no “out there” out there; it is simply a projection of your inner world. And there are no exceptions to this rule, just as there are no exceptions to the Law of Gravity!
We are taught social accommodations in childhood, how to share and play with so-called “others.” But some of us sensed this was wrong, that the strongest and most stubborn of the children ended up lording it over the quiet, more introverted ones of us.
I grew up and found my calling, yet it did not yield up what I hoped it would. I couldn’t put this in words, but I wanted a family to belong to or with. What happened was exactly backwards; I ended up sacrificing my deep longing to be with people and saw that this longing kept me from surrendering to God.
These days I am making friends with the Self in all beings. I prefer silence to noise and my own company to that of others. Some of you are in the same boat; nothing is accidental when you are beginning to wake up from the dream of sleep.
You will not find freedom in a group of sleeping human beings. What you will find is desperate people seeking validation from so-called “others.” As long as you live on that level, you will continue to try and fill the void within from the void without. And you will starve yourself of what you really need.
And what you really need is self-acceptance. This is the final mirror on the way back to your true home. And it is harder to find that outer acceptance, for you have judged yourself for so long and the ache is so constant.
You see the world from your prism (prison) of longing. You are managing to break away from it in bits and pieces; it would be best if you could end it with one glorious yang, like my tooth that was recently pulled.
I can get an implant or a bridge; neither will be natural, yet one will happen and the other won’t. I am leaning towards the bridge, but I am at the healing stage and will not have to decide until after the holidays. Holidays, I hate them. They are a time of great emptiness for so many of us.
I was weak yesterday; today I will be a bit stronger. I will go about my day putting things to right. Only in this way will I come to see the nature of my prison.
Vicki Woodyard
This is a rocky boat; but it does have each of us there with the Self within each of us. We are driven along with great waves that rock us and with gentle waves that remind us of stillness and peace right within our being. Namaste! dear Vicki. I’m so glad your empty tooth area is healing and that you don’t have to deal with your next steps until after the holidays.
I neglected to say that the tooth socket is healing; it is two rounds of antibiotics that have upset my stomach. I followed them with 2 weeks of a probiotic, but even that didn’t totally handle the problem.
Oh Vicki,
That was so beautifully said and takes us right to the core of the matter. The constant self-judging is exhausting if it only cast blame, but healing/rest may occur if self evaluation and self acceptance is practiced.
I spent much time in my life thinking I am not enough, even though I was/am very much loved by my family. The acceptance of “others” was a big thing. Not so much anymore. Thank God. Long ago I noticed some miraculous things inside myself and “out there” began to lose it’s glitter.
Thanks for writing this today Vick. Feels good to remember. I shall putter today too.
Peace,
Tami
Puttering soothes the soul.
I just read Ruth’s rocky boat analogy and it’s right on.
And Vicki, those antibiotics can be so harsh….prayers for complete healing (stomach and tooth socket) for you and better days ahead.
Tami
Healing happens. Meanwhile my brother was taken to the hospital yet again and his daughter said they waited 4 hours in the ER before he was given transfusions. We haven’t heard from her yet today.
Healing happens. Meanwhile my brother was taken to the hospital yet again and his daughter said they waited 4 hours in the ER before he was given transfusions. We haven’t heard from her yet today.
Oh Vicki, I’m very sorry to hear this. The back and forth and in and out of the hospital entails such suffering and relief. Why does this happen for some? We don’t know why this is so, but there must be a reason. Btw, 4 hours is ridiculous. Emergency Room implies an emergency.
You know I’m sending prayers for your Jim.
Take care friend,
Tami
I feel he is halfway home, so it is harder on his daughter than it is on him.