I was always a stranger here. I remember events from my childhood where I was clearly frightened about going to school. By the age of 13 I had a full-blown panic attack, only no one had a name for what happened to me then. Agoraphobia, I had agoraphobia. Now I understand that I would have a path that took me away from the world. I often realize that I stand alone.

I didn’t want to move away from home when I married my husband. But there was no going back; not that that would have helped, for I took my agoraphobia with me. I don’t know how he put up with my extreme dislike of social situations. He was an affable outgoing man who made friends easily.

We did have a love of truth in common and he also studied with Vernon Howard. I remember getting up in front of the mike and telling the class that I had agoraphobia. That was a huge step for me. Vernon died in 1992 and little did I know that I would be one of his students that carried on his message. This was because I am able to write about my journey.

At some point the agoraphobia fell away and I owe that to grace. I still avoid social occasions though and do not have a set of friends. I only have the truth with a capital T. Vernon was said to have meant Christ whenever he said Truth. As I continue to study the words of Jesus, I am sure that is what he meant.

I do not mind standing alone; in fact, that is how we walk the spiritual path. We may smile at other people going about their lives, which are so different from ours, but inwardly there is a deeper joy at discovering the inner meaning of having the Christ Consciousness.

Having the Christ Consciousness is to die daily. Having it is to deny the lower levels of life and to live within.

Having the Christ Consciousness is to rise above the mind daily.

Some of you are on this journey back to the Self. We are prodigal children receiving grace. We are here to make the return journey back to the Father’s House. Tirelessly we plod along, carried on angels’ wings.

Vicki Woodyard