In Boulder City with Vernon Howard
I was chatting with an online friend about what it was like to visit Vernon Howard’s school in Boulder City, Nevada, back in the mid-eighties. On my first visit, his group was meeting in an old church. The students were unfriendly, except for a couple that were assigned the job of “Greeter.” There were also students manning book tables, since Vernon had quite a few books and tapes available.
The ones that lived in Boulder City never made it easy on the visitors. When the giant Yard Sale happened in spring, I went out to help about 3 times. It was pure hell. The students hazed us by putting us in charge of things while they waltzed away to watch TV or stuff. This brought up acute feelings of anger/rage towards them. Vernon counseled them to be nicer but I think they turned a deaf ear. So you might be asking why I stayed. Well, it’s like this….
Vernon Howard was a once-in-a-lifetime kind of teacher. He knew how hard it needed to be and he also knew when a student was on the brink of a breakdown or breakthrough. Once I flew out for the Yard Sale and the airline managed to lose my luggage. I took a limo into Boulder City because the airport people said that was the cheapest way to get there.
Since I had no luggage, I went into a shop and bought a sleep shirt with a rabbit on the front of it. Before the meeting began, I walked in and overheard Vernon talking to a student. The student handed Vernon a toy rabbit that jumped when it was wound up. Vernon laughed and said, “Don’t show this to anyone before the talk. Never give your act away!” I think he knew that I was listening.
So at the meeting, Vernon talked about the yard sale and suddenly he produced the rabbit and placed it on his desk where it jumped around. He said something about people at the yard sale would flip over the prices. Everyone laughed and I totally got the message. He knew what I had been doing and that I had bought a rabbit shirt. Now that might mean little to you, but to me it was a great gift. He left it impersonal so that it could be interpreted any kind of way.
There was almost always a synchronicity like that whenever I flew out to hear him speak. His message was uncompromising and totally strict. As he said once, “The soft touch won’t do.” And so whenever I hear non-duality teachers droning on about awakening, I remember Vernon and his absolute control that led to absolute freedom if you chose.
Life is not all beer and skittles; below the surface everyone’s ego is wound up and jumping all over the place. Vernon knew that and he knew how messed up the world is. His place was truly an oasis in the desert.
Vicki Woodyard
I’m thankful there is so much material that was preserved. My ego needs the tough teacher but also the philosophical one like Alan Watts and Terrence McKenna. Vernon is definitely unique in his method. Gurdjieff taught that there can be no progress without shocks to the ego. These shocks open us up to seeing ourselves from a more objective understanding. When enough of these shocks happen and we respond to them with a view of expansion instead of subjective fear then we shall evolve to another level of awareness.
I agree with what you say. It used to be that there were many people claiming to be awake and obviously they were not. They had just bought into the script telling them that they were. Just recently I realized that one of the reasons that Vernon was so tough is that he did not want us to become “spiritualized.” In other words, he did not want students going around wearing robes and proclaiming stuff they were not living up to being. Advaita has the truth but it lacks the drilling down into the darkness that Vernon insisted on. We all have to be tempted by the devil before we can even begin to see a glimmer of light.