Your Own Death and Rebirth

I would like to say a little bit about suffering. Mechanical suffering does no one any good. However, conscious suffering is the gateway to God. Vernon Howard introduced me to this idea, which was first put forth by G. I. Gurdjieff. And he knew that Christ suffered consciously.

I have studied this idea for a long time and it is a true one. The difficulty is that man is asleep (mechanical, dead) and there is no consciousness in him. One can return to the teachings of the New Testament, not mechanically but consciously. There you will find “I am” said by Jesus over and over. “I am the bread of life. I am the way, the truth and the life.”

My essays over the years have been on this subject. I talk about the mechanical Vicki and the one in me that knows how to rise the third day. This is not to be taken literally but as a metaphor for true awakening.

I try not to be dry but relevant and personal. This hopefully keeps the reader interested and engaged. One day I may write of how fearful I am and the next about how suffering has led me to the light. Conscious suffering does this. But do not expect your reward to come any time soon.

Even though it does not come soon, you always get your spiritual gold, as Vernon Howard said. One day you will see with delight that you have crossed over into Jordan. That is, you cannot go back to your prior state of consciousness. The payment is just too high. Now you prefer solitude to society because society sleeps on.

Today Vicki is doing well. The Christ in her has risen. Literal teachings do not contain water to quench one’s inner thirst. Read the first four chapters of the New Testament and see how we are led to our own death and rebirth.

Vicki Woodyard