A woman perceived herself as being unlovable so she avoided making new connections that would require her to love and be loved.

One day she saw herself in the mirror as she rode up the escalator and she didn’t recognize herself at all. She only remarked at how lovely this woman was.

Back home, her mirror once again showed herself as unlovely and unlovable and she felt her usual feeling of self-rejection.

Who was she now and who was she then? She had been alone for so long that she had lost all real perception of how things were in the real world. She lived on memories and self-restraint lest she disappoint anyone.

She measured life in terms of how well she was doing despite her loneliness and deep fear of others. She felt most comfortable smiling at strangers who put her in no danger of going any deeper than the surface.

Her own depths had drowned her long ago and she no longer lived in the world that most others occupied. Oh, on occasion she saw a kindred spirit and penetrated their lonely shell and she felt good about that. But she always came back home to her own lack of self-acceptance.

She had never probed deep enough to reach the bottom of her fears and shame. Superficially she blamed it on her father, but he was long dead.

Now she knew what she had to do to change her whole life. She had to own up to her own insecurities. Not only that, she had to rely on her spirit to ride the waves of her doubting self.

She had no idea what tomorrow would bring except another day of riding the waves of an unknown sea. She needed a talisman so she opened a book at random and this is what she read: Go on just as you have. Go on being who you are. Go on without proof that you are the One. Go on as the One and with the One. Let no doubt obscure your vision.

Did she change instantly? Of course not. But she now had a different view of herself that needed no mirror, no confirmation and no mental resolution. Of that she was sure.

Vicki Woodyard