I think that there is a great misconception about awakening and everyone being online has contributed to this fantasy. What fantasy? The fantasy that your own life must be escaped because there is a better one to be found. That is pure insanity. This is it; this is where you live and move and have your being. For better or for worse, you are married to the life you are living. There is no escape.

The holidays are a dreadful time for people seeking a better life than the one they’ve got. They want to have what the TV ads show, families in glad reunion seated around a perfect dinner table. And you, what have you got? A dismal reality filled with broken dreams and no one to fix them.

That is the situation, as Vernon Howard used to say. And the solution? Knowing that no one has a perfect life. They are just pretending that they do. I remember our trips home as nightmarish. And yet in my mind I feel bad that I have no home to travel to anymore.

My son and I had a pleasant afternoon. He took me to a gift shop in the neighborhood. I bought a few things and then we stopped and picked up some chicken. Back home, I felt the fantasy beginning to take hold as I watched Christmas ads on TV.

There is no other life waiting for me. I must inhabit this one fully. Only then will I experience the peace that passes understanding.

Awakening is so basic as to go unrecognized. It happens in those moments when you remember yourself. You’re not fantasizing about things you don’t have. You are just watching yourself as you are. A human being living the mystery of this life. No one has answers and no one has questions. It is all a mirage when you live in your head.

I have lost a lot but I have gained a lot as well. I have health problems now but I also have a life in which I can receive good care and keep living an authentic life. How about you?

Vicki Woodyard