I woke up around 5:30 with some pain in my hands and burning in my arms. Oh, no, dear God, please don’t let this happen. And by this, I mean neuropathy. I have felt my hands being numb when I first wake up, but no actual pain.

At six I got up and made some tea and had breakfast and took a pill for the neuropathy and went back to bed. I didn’t sleep and a sense of doom hung over the bed. I had planned to get a flu shot today but now I ruled that out. I thought about what Bernie Siegel told me, to be accepting of my limits. And now there would be more of them.

My physical therapy yesterday went okay but this morning I realized I only wanted to go once a week instead of twice. My next appointment is several days away and I will tell the therapist then.

I had thought about selling the house and suddenly that idea doesn’t appeal to me at all. Everything is pointing to surrender. I must admit that I am not good at that.

Surrender is something we play with because total surrender would mean we no longer have free will. But I have long known that, as Edgar Cayce said, the only choice we have is that of our attitude and emotions. And that is enough and plenty.

When the chips are down, and they always are, it is good to let the House win. And by House, I mean the one that Jesus refers to when He says, “In my Father’s house there are many mansions.” And I look around at this old house and know that He is in every room. He is everywhere. “Cleave the wood and I am there.”

And so it is and it ever shall be. I rest in this old body and this old house with the words of surrender surrounding me. All is well.

Vicki Woodyard