It is dark and rainy as I enter a Monday of my New Normal. There has been a shift in my inner world. Whereas before it was easy to use words to write essays, now I feel the importance of “no words.”
The geography of my body has changed a lot; perhaps the landscape of my mind has as well. I am living with unknowing at the moment, trying the new medication for my neuropathy and seeing how it goes. They say there can be much relief and at the same time, some short-term memory loss and other issues. Who knows?
Yesterday I got my haircut. I love going on Sunday because my stylist is often the only one working. Today she had her wrist taped and I asked her about it.
“I have all sorts of issues,” she said. I use my wrist all day and my legs hurt from standing.” She is not yet forty and is already having to deal with pain. She is from Viet Nam, a tiny little thing full of forthright energy. She charges less for haircuts than most stylists do and mainly cuts men’s hair. Since my hair is short, she does a great job on it.
When I get home, I do nothing but take a short walk between periods of rain. I have a hangover due to lack of sleep the night before and just sit around feeling groggy.
The Work seems far away right now; but I have lived through droughts like this before. I am a survivor and will take the right steps to insure that I practice self-care. I have learned that I am the only one for the job!
Vicki needs only God; her footsteps must follow Him.
Vicki Woodyard
Dear Vicki, thank you for sharing your “new normal” which is so difficult, I know. Sometimes, our inner landscape changes so much that we can only go within, like you said, where there are “no words.” I hope you find peace and relief from your pain.