I woke up around 4 a.m. with pain from feet to neck. I lay in bed doing deep breathing until I finally got up at 4:30. I ate my usual breakfast of oatmeal and tea. Then I took a pill for the neuropathy, if that is what it is, and soon I will return to bed.
Each day until I see the neurologist on June 28 I watch my pain level worsen at night. A month ago it wasn’t bad at all. Now I see fear arising and putting me into a fog. How long will it take me to get the right medications to ease the pain?
By the time the sun is up, I feel profound relief, as nighttime pain is menacing.
My inner work on the mental level has been swept aside and I am left with nothing but the pain and anxiety.
I can get out and drive to the grocery when I need to at some point during each day and I take little walks as well.
But for the most part I am just trying to get used to this new normal.
Vicki Woodyard
Vicki, I am so sorry that you are in such pain. I have experienced many nights of lying awake in terrible pain and it can certainly rip away the rest of the world and leave us living moment to moment. The world narrows down to your bed. I pray you will find relief and that the new medication will help.
As I move through this new phase of my life, I know I will be getting help. You are a part of it, dearest Tibby. I am about to
post an essay I just wrote that you will understand. Love you.
Thank for sharing Vic, I too, at 63, feel the body changing w/ numerous aches & pain as I settle into the moments peace…oy! thinking of you!
I think as we on the spiritual path acknowledge how much pain we are in, it must deepen and enrich the parts of us that rebel against the inevitable.
The moments of peace that you settle into become part of the suffering and it is all inevitable. So we can let go of trying so hard to fight the pain.
Even those of us who have just been in your atmosphere for a short time are so sorry to learn of your pain. You definitely also have my prayers that your medication changes and your meeting with your doctor will prove very beneficial. Love to you.
Thank you, Ruth. Yes, it is gonna take a while to get things squared away as far as meds that will help, etc.
I don’t have anything else to do but write, and that is therapy for me.