We are born into a life of illusion and struggle to leave its bondage. Many die in the attempt to dull the pain. Some of us are lucky enough to find a true teaching that we take to like a duck to water. Even so, there are no guarantees that we will find true freedom from ourselves.

How can we, when we are bound to a body/mind that is part of the illusion?

A true teacher will hack you a path out of the jungle and his machete shines with light.

Vernon Howard attacked his students powerfully and immediately. He used to say, “If you can take it, you will make it.” No fooling around with that guy.

I knew his words were pure gold coated in invective and even sarcasm to scare off the ninnies that would waste his time.

Those that stayed with him were people that did not fit in. The others left to find a church home.

Vernon kicked us out on a daily basis by the manner in which he taught. If we came back, we were given more of the same.

If you ask me how many true friends I have, I would count them on one hand. I do not fit into the establishment. Why would I want to?

There is a place where egos dare not go; that is where Vernon Howard led us. Some call it Golgotha. He invited us to be crucified on a psychological level. We shrunk in horror.

I am still trying to gather courage to take up the cross and leave this world for good. But that is an impossible task. Vernon knew we needed strong medicine.

If I am left here, it is for my inner growth and for no other reason. So I stumble on under the load of the teachings. They are hard to bear and impossible for the ego to hear. Something else must bear the burden of them. And it does.

Vicki Woodyard