Each year finds me writing differently and the same. So far I seem to have finished writing about my grief and yet it is still present. It is a part of the fabric of who I am.

As I look back, I see that I was born knowing the truth on a gut level and that is still how I know it. No one has to instruct me in what I instinctively know. That is why non-duality is not for me. I wanted the bluntness of Vernon Howard to yank the rug out from under me. He had no misconceptions to share with anyone. There was no time for that.

He taught the Work as begun by Gurdjieff and it is based on esoteric Christianity. The words of Christ point to the truth of our being. But you do not have to go to church to find them. They are rooted in the human psyche. They have only to be discovered.

Since I was born knowing the truth, I have paid the price in social isolation and ostracism. No one wants a messiah in their life, especially one within! We all know what happens to them. They are crucified.

Worldly people look for worldly solutions and they do not exist for inner answers. One has to look within for them. That is blindingly obvious.

And so I continue to sit, leaning into the silence until I am one with it. Truth never speaks to this world. If it does, it speaks in parables.

Vicki Woodyard