I was interviewed by John LeKay of Non-Duality Magazine last week and I had such a good time chatting with him. We go back a long way and seem to share an understanding of how things really are online. Things can get quite savage in the old non-duality rodeo. I finally left all discussion groups and now use my writing and brief recordings as a way of service.

I do not consider myself a teacher on the personal level, although I have a calling to do what I do. I can also serve as a bad example! I do all of the things you shouldn’t do when you are trying to wake up. But I try to be honest about it.

I have finished with the idea that spirituality can be discussed. Vernon Howard said it best, “I have come to deliver the message, not discuss it!” The mind wants to kick things around with someone who will try and summon up the necessary patience to indulge it. Silence would have none of that. And silence is the ultimate teacher.

I used to wonder what my calling was. After many years of writing online, I now know that is my calling. It is what I do and it arises from who I am. But do not look to me to hang around after I have posted a note. Once I hit the Send button, I am free to return to silence.

When my husband was dying, I invented a fictitious guru by the name of Swami Z. He lived with me and was quite rude to me in a comical way. I had no choice but to be the butt of his jokes. He was not cruel but knew how to escape from my frantic attempts to pin him down. Truth is like that; it will not be pinned down intellectually.

Vernon Howard was also like that. He said, “Just try and have a conversation with me!” And we took him seriously. He called us “You people.” Yet I always knew him to be consciously loving. He once said, “My prayers for you are always answered.”

I don’t listen to his talks any longer although I will occasionally pick up one of his books. All of the years I spent studying his work is bearing fruit, although it has been slow and arduous.

I need to wind this up; it is 3 in the morning but I wanted to write this. Most of you know I don’t like to ramble on about what I write so easily. It is enough that a handful of you read it and say “Amen,” or “Hallelujah.”

Thanks for liking what I do,
Vicki