“There are tragedies in life that change us forever, the person we once were mistakenly listed among the survivors.” ~Robert Brault

Robert Brault is a most brilliant man. He is able to say things that we never thought of before. I resonate deeply with the above quote. I am sure many of you do as well.

After my daughter died, the old Vicki died forever. The one that was born— well, let’s just say she buried not only her child but her ability to see the world as normal. She now saw it as hell, but a very private one.

Inside, the flames were so hot that she cried out silently for help. And none seemed to come. She was not only burning, she was also frozen solid in a block of ice.

She went through the motions, feeling like if she searched hard enough for answers, surely she would find them.

That was forty years ago. The same amount of time that the Jews wandered in the desert.

She wandered in and out of books, teachings, inner work, distractions, complications, rage, envy, comparison, etc. She found Vernon Howard and bingo, she recognized that what he said was true. The ego is false and only God is real.

After coming to Vernon, I stayed with him inwardly year in and year out.

Just lately I have come into a deeper silence. The sorrow is still here, but it has been used for good.

Now I understand alchemy, for the search in the wilderness has turned into pure gold.

I am not perfect but I am finished with much of the world. Remnants remain; they always do.

But the rag I polish the mirror with is used less and less as I see more and more.

The witness is alive and well.

Amen.

Vicki Woodyard