The holiday mania/depression has begun. Oh, yeah, holidays always have a caboose-ful of depression.
After staying in for 3 days due to bad weather, I rose from the dead and went to T. J. Maxx. There I bought a fabulous sweater (you should always give yourself something) and a cart of gorgeous chocolates for people that help me out during the year.
After that, I went to Ted’s and ordered their roast turkey. My Thanksgiving pork had been a massive failure. I asked the waiter to box half the meal up for Rob and then I sat there eating Thanksgiving dinner late and alone. It was great.
Today is Monday and everything will only get worse.
What is the cure for the holiday excess/frustration/grief?
Last year I had a great excuse for doing nothing. I was recuperating from that nasty virus. This year I am in good health, but I am gonna play dead.
Even then, I will experience seasonal depression as I move through the anniversary of Bob’s birthday, his death and funeral and our anniversary. Yep, all took place in December. By January, I am a molten mess of chocolate, dry skin and static cling. Gotta love it.
Seriously, I am enjoying the teachings of Joel Goldsmith. I understand them more and more as I sit in silence watching the world go by. The witness to my sorrow is conscious love.
Vicki Woodyard
I bought a pair of warm boots by UGGS on sale. I was extremely reluctant to hit the “Place Order” tab. I finally did it when I thought about the last time I bought myself something I really loved. The answer was a long time ago.
Why is it so much easier to buy things for my granddaughter? Why the twinge of guilt or a sense of being extravagant? I don’t get it. I am happy I placed the order. One point for me…
I didn’t “be nice to myself” until Bob died. When I looked around, I was the only one. And now I even take myself to lunch, as you know.
I dreamt of Bob last night, a very sweet dream. Usually when I dream of him, he is always too far away for me to interact with him.