I used to think I knew what I was doing. Now I know I don’t. Things just happen and I watch myself doing things against myself. It is how we are wired. As Leonard Cohen’s friend asked him, “Are you sure you are doing the wrong thing?” This is a deep question to ponder.

Wars are not started consciously, only unconsciously. Against our own best interests. Arguments, addictions, betrayals, crimes, etc. Humanity is against itself. The mind is divided territory.

Vernon Howard counseled us to leave the civil war within and be no one and have nothing. Who can do that? Instead we have inner arguments that do not even involve other people. And all the time we think we know what we are doing.

Wars are fought in a state of sleep. But hear this well—peace is just the other side of war. It is temporary. Lasting peace can only be found by leaving the battlefield.

So I try to do that. And strangely enough, it is then that I almost fall into a stupor. I have to rouse myself because it is so unexciting to have nothing to do and nowhere to go but into silence.

I am writing this to you from a state of silence so I doubt if you find it interesting enough to read. It offers you nothing but facts.

Vicki Woodyard