Breakfast eaten, tea drunk, I sit in silence. The level of silence is a constant, once you find it and enter it. The silence is not only devoid of thought, it is devoid of God. At least so far! God is something that does not manifest to man. We take Him on faith. He has no voice at all. So I settle into the silence.

Sometimes I realize certain things about myself that cannot be changed. Want to know what they are? Everything! Yep, self-acceptance begins with the realization that you are what you are and that is that.

As an introvert, I belong in the home country of silence. I can play the role of extrovert, but only briefly and it exhausts me. As a child, my classmates accused me of being a snob when I was only being myself. I am sure some of you know how this feels. You realize you do not belong in an extroverted world.

As I get older, though, I find peace is more accessible to me than ever. Before I reach it, I have to pass through realms of anxiety, though. As the morning wears on, my peace becomes how I experience the day. Last night’s dreams forgotten, I do what needs to be done and then do a lot of sitting in silence.

I think of Theo and how he tells me to say, “This is not for me,” and I realize this has always been true. The world is not for me. It is in the world that I make compromises and put myself into situations not of my own choosing.

I like being at home with the silence. The price I pay is simple. Everything I’ve got.

Vicki Woodyard