Human life represents the other side of enlightenment. Never forget that. It is bloody awful, whether consciously or unconsciously. You can close the books that tell you how to become enlightened. You already are. You are hip to the blood smeared on your pristine ambitions, your lonely plans to conquer your fears and become barely adequate. You are here and you are breathing through it all.

I am talking about myself and my very real human life. I have yearned for enlightenment and come up short. That just means I am still human. I believe in God, but not a God of Goodies. Oh, no. The God I know is a God of Grit. He is all about making us grow and for that, He gets down and dirty.

I have had a book in the works for years, literally. And now, on the cusp of finishing it, my publisher says his computer crashed and everything is lost. The man repairing my deck is ill and the work lies half-finished. I don’t know what to do next. Why? Because I am human.

I have a way with words, sure. But that doesn’t take care of my humanity. Sure, I can reach the still point within, but that does nothing to lift the stain on my soul. Nor should it. Make no mistake about it, you can give up on believing the half-baked statements people make about enlightenment.

My happiness comes when everything finite gives way. Something in me can walk away from the rubble, knowing that is all there is. If you try to become Pollyanna, you will just prolong your suffering.

I hope some of you get your shorts in a knot about what I’ve written. Hurl some imaginary bombs. That will make you feel better. Only it doesn’t work. What does work when nothing works? Ask the enlightened people and they will shovel more nonsense to feed you.

Oh, now you are irate, are you? I am smiling. The truth has a different taste than nonsense. Some of us come back for more. We remember the words of Jesus, “My kingdom is not of this world.”

Vicki Woodyard