“Just declare that everyone’s at fault but no one’s to blame and move on.” ~ Robert Brault

Yesterday I wrote a piece about everyone being messed up. T’is true. And then my friend Robert writes the quote above. How perfect is that?

Vicki is certainly at fault. The thing is that I cannot find her fully enough to either pin her down or forgive her. She is everywhere and nowhere. Impenetrable and permeable at the same time. The closer you look at her, the farther away she becomes.

I still blame Vicki for a lot of things that hurt. If she could only become enlightened. Then she might be forgiven for hurting those she loves. But she stubbornly refuses to become ideal. You should see her self-harming feelings.

And her body is one of her main targets. What’s with the cellulite and the sagging? One eyelid droops just like so many on her mother’s side of the family.

She does what most women do. She cleans and straightens the things around her. Order on the physical level makes her feel better. She wields the dust cloth and the spray wax and moves about her empty house.

All of the teachings have now escaped her. That is a profound relief. They just evaporated. All that is left of them is muscle memory. She has become what she loves just as she has become what she resisted. Now she is a perfect package of imperfection.

She notices how gratitude arises when the burden of living lifts momentarily. She feels the breeze of being free touch her as she cleans. As she rests from the daily wounds that never go away.

“Everyone’s at fault and no one’s to blame.” And she moves on and through and in between. Just like all human beings do. This is life and this is death. This is how it is with us all. Hallelujah!

Vicki Woodyard