There is one unalterable truth: Everyone is messed up. That includes gurus, saints and invisible beings. Okay, maybe there is an invisible being that I don’t know about that isn’t messed up, but I doubt it!

No one wants to admit the particular ways in which they are messed up. Especially online gurus because their schtick is that they know who they are. They can’t possibly admit to being messed up. No one would buy their books and stuff.

I would be safe in writing a book called “I Am Messed Up.” I am too busy living it to write, though. My messed-up hours are legendary. I even sleep messed-up. You should see my bed. I don’t even bother to make it up anymore.

I don’t have many relationships, but the ones left are totally messed-up. Some of them are imaginary. They, too, are messed-up.

I have thought of returning to Facebook just to have a page called Everyone is Messed Up. Nah, no one but me would admit to it. I would get no Likes or Followers. It is bad enough having a website and being messed up.

So, yes, I had a spiritual teacher (Vernon Howard) and he confirmed that all of his students were messed up. He confessed that outside of giving us talks, he wanted nothing to do with us. And he didn’t.

I am trying to get a few more donations for my website. It sort of excites me to get them because then for a few brief moments I don’t feel so messed-up. And then I remember my guru and I feel bad about being so messed-up.

Surely one day I will write a book called “Messed Up No More.” But I doubt it. In the meantime, I will keep writing as best I can. Fingers crossed. Chip in if you can. I appreciate it.

Vicki Woodyard