This day the usual waking up anxious.
The bowl of instant oatmeal and the tea.
The painter working on the deck
And me waiting for my appointment with the hairdresser.

A late lunch with my son.
Shrimp and chowder and hot coffee.
This evening a heavy rain
And me watching TV.

I post a note and eat some chocolate.
Later I get a teaspoon to clean out the
Bottom of an almost empty pretzel bag,
The bits pulverized and too good to waste.

Enlightenment is a thing of the past.
A lesson in futility.
A “so what” in the heart’s measured movements
Of its oh, so brief and painful life.

Yes, the pain is constant and rewarding
In its direct experience of hell.
Heaven is just hearsay if you ask me.
The golden slippers as evanescent
As I am.

Why seek heaven when the direct
Experience of hell is all you will ever know.
To understand this, one must take the
Teaspoon to the almost empty life
And eat the bits too good to waste.

Alchemy is what we’re after.
Turning lead into gold.
The only way out is through.
Turn toward darkness and
The light is you.

Vicki Woodyard