Do You Get It?

Often I am right on the brink of myself. Teetering into the inner world and back into the outer one. Wondering where I belong when everyone else has something “going on.”

Some of you know what I mean. The lucky ones are chirping about children and grandchildren. The unlucky ones like me are silently holding space for them while they fill it up with words we cannot identify with.

My son and I are the only two left. Neither of us have much to say about our lives to other people. It makes me sad to write that but it is my truth.

I am a social cipher, make no mistake about it.

I will see Theo next month and he will brighten when he sees me. I mean something to him. He will say “It’s wonderful to see you” and mean it. He sees what no one else sees and I have no idea why this is. But without it, life would be less loving for me.