Leonard Cohen said Roshi told him to “Sing more sad.” I deeply understand that. To be human is to be vulnerable to sadness. Often we try to rid ourselves of vulnerability, but the sorrow remains.

Having lived a lifetime of sorrow, I know how deeply it has changed me. Some changes are good and some are bad. But only God can judge that. I only write of how I feel.

Today is a good day. The sun is out. Rob is making beef short ribs in the Easy Pot he bought for Christmas. It is, I think, a complicated recipe. It sure smells good.

The painter, who is fighting a cold, is nevertheless, cheerful. He is replacing cedar boards today. He found some ants in a gutter he replaced and I had the exterminator out to get rid of some ants in my bathtub.

After Bob was diagnosed, ants marched in great numbers on my pantry shelves. Shelley, my mystic friend, said even the ants were a test for me. Then I got all upset. Now I just make a call and have someone come out and treat the invaded area.

You might say I am learning to roll with the punches that life provides free of charge. You might say I am enlightened. You might say I am just getting old. Who cares?

The bottom line is that no one cares. I am free to write or not write. To speak or not speak. I appreciate donations but they are not necessary. They encourage me, of course, but I can write regardless. To those who care enough to donate, thank you. It is rather fun to get them and I am deeply grateful.

I am vulnerable and strong. I am terrified and deeply at peace. I am hated and loved. I am here and there. I am nowhere and everywhere. And so are you. And so is everyone else. Selah!

Vicki Woodyard