It is a Tuesday in January and a bitter cold one at that. I am recuperating from spasms in my neck and back and a bit of a stomach upset. After days in the house, I venture forth to Macy’s. Once there, I look through the sales racks and find nothing I want to buy.
Back home, I fix a chicken sandwich for lunch. It did me good to get out for an hour or so. And now I am back here at ground zero, where my life seems to keep happening in the only way it can. And “happen” is the key word in everyone’s life.
In January I become the schlub of all schlubs. Nothing to recommend me. I look in the mirror at Macy’s. My makeup has been put on evenly, something I never see in the dark bathroom at home. My Lands End pants are way too long and pool over the tops of my sneakers. Not only am I not remotely spiritual, I look awful. So now I have this awesome triad going. An unaspiring heart, an upset stomach and a body that clearly has room for improvement. That is January in a nutshell for most of us.
And yet I don’t have to be overly concerned about any of it, for this, too, shall pass. My life will unfold as planned. Just when I think I am down for the count, something magical will happen to remind me that life is worth living. Those events are clearly out of my control and that is what makes them so delicious. For my plans never work out very well and my emotional strategies for safety routinely backfire.
How shall I wind this up? I could tell you that despite what I think of myself, God loves me just as I am. But maybe He doesn’t. Who knows, really? Maybe He was standing behind me in the dressing room while I tried on those distressing disguises and urged me to leave the store naked and afraid. Who knows anything, really?
As of now, I have spent about ten minutes pounding this note out. I have to go now and mend Jacob’s ladder (it’s missing a rung), and drive carpool to nowhere. There are no good radio stations left in town, so I will probably have to endure the silence along the way. Who knows, maybe that is just what I need.
Vicki Woodyard
God loves you because you were made in His image God has given you a truly remarkable gift of words, to speak them, to write them….words that reach into my heart and touch me, words that reach into my brain and make me think, words that sooth my soul. I am thankful for your friendship….and your words. Sending you positive waves of light and love and hopefully you’ll find your way out of the schlubs. Perhaps a visit with Swami Z will make you smile and lift your spirit…he has a gift for that, ya know?
Before I read your comment, I said to myself, “Whatever happens, God has ordained it.” So your words fell onto fertile ground, Joyce. Bless you.
Thanks, Gary.
It finally snowed here long overdue and I can’t say that I am rejoicing about it, the winter of childhood was not like this. Back then I would stay outside sledding until it was dark, cold or not I was alive, carefree happy without care or worry. It is different now I’m an adult and responsible all the things that that robbed away that joy of meaningless laughter that had no care or direction so I wonder what happened that I take life so seriously. Not that I excel at paying bills on time or worry about what other people think All I can offer is to say you are not alone and I thank you for our friendship we have lived longer than the people closest to us, so we need to be thankful that life provides what is unknown at the moment but it always does.