The catastrophes are easier to handle
than their aftermaths.
It takes more than soaking in a warm bath.
It takes learning how to use your water wings
when your tub is filled with tears
and your heart is choked with fears.
The deaths are easier than
giving away the belongings
and the longings associated
with that person.
I changed grocery stories to
avoid the memories crammed
into the cans and bins.
The anniversaries are easier
to handle than the assorted
sharp fragments of memory
that poke through your skin
at inappropriate times and
bind you to the house until
you can forget again.
The hardest things to handle
are the memories you have of
when you could have behaved
better than you did or the times
you just didn’t give a shit.
Not a bit.
Now the hardest thing is to
have a good time, a pure space
in which love can rest without
dredging up a thousand reasons
why you cannot love again.
Vicki Woodyard
They say it gets easier with time, well sort of but not really. It changes but it doesn’t go away not at all. It is still there, always will be, in a way unfair to a new love that life mate that was still is, can’t change that, can’t change that, so what to do can’t fake it. Well I can be honest, that’s all I can do.
I agree.