I was thinking about how you can’t grab life. That sort of proves it is a movie and not live. Doesn’t that make you smile for me to put it that way? Because it is live and yet it is also already in the can. There is no free will and no free lunch. But the Reign of the Kardashians has ended. The Fall of the Media was blamed on them. Kan you dig it? I am being silly, which is as much my inalienable right as being serious.

Once the media fell, things immediately improved in this country. The United States of Kardashian was suddenly undermined by a generation of Kardashian Overload. The Overlords of the Media fell and were never replaced.

Now no one gets any news at all. Actually, I never got it, in the sense of understanding it. But now there are no more news anchors and therefore beautiful young women and handsome young men are standing on the street corner selling Apples. Not apples, but Apples.

Everyone is writing their own news. Facebook took the place of the old-fashioned media. Once everyone got their own mandate to publish whatever they liked on their home page, the news took a decided turn for the peculiar. No one wanted to hear anyone else’s news. They were too busy publishing their own.

Selfies fell at the same time that the Kardashian Era ended. Oh, there are a few buried in a time capsule somewhere, but who cares?

If you are wondering what I ended up doing once I left Facebook, I am not sure myself. I write these little essays and post them on my blog, but blogs are no longer “in” either. I am afraid that the new mantra for the United States is “Buyer Beware.” That is because nothing is made in America any longer.

There has been a return to the old ways. TV trays in sets of 3 have come back in. People play Pong and have sex in the back of their father’s cars. No one gets pregnant because they use the rhythm method. The Pope is very popular and the Fonz is not very far behind.

Old people are the new young people and young people are decidedly unhappy about this. We give ‘em popsicles and make ‘em stay outdoors until it gets dark. They don’t care. They hang around under the streetlights and often drag race on Main.

I think I better end this here essay before some of you want to elect me the first women President. I hate to tell you, but we don’t have a President anymore. Everyone has their own ideas about how to run the country and we take turns. Each persons gets 3 minutes to run the country. If he makes a bad move, he gets dunked. Things are really better than ever. I can’t wait until the movie comes out.

Vicki Woodyard