Nothing matters but eternal love. I learned that the hard way, as does everyone. In the beginning, we think that our relationships will last forever but they don’t. Bodies have expiration dates as surely as yogurt. They come and go. That is a hard truth to learn, so we are taught it before we ever feel ready to learn it.

Is your heart breaking? If not, it is probably aching about something at the very least. My heart has been run over by the Mac truck of death twice and apparently love was not affected in the least bit. Oh, my ego suffered grave damage, but that is part of the lesson. What lesson, you may be asking. The lesson that bodies come and go but love is eternal.

Today I have a patched up heart that I fear to wear on my sleeve. I keep it in a very private place. That way, I don’t open it to just anyone. That leads to codependency and false friendships. It is safe in the arms of eternal love.

If you wonder if your heart will hurt forever, the answer is a decided yes. If it healed over, you wouldn’t be able to feel the genuine love of God. I find that holidays are hard times for me and my banged up heart. But once I see the inevitability of that, I can relax into acceptance. That is just how we humans are. Never quite divinely perfect, or we wouldn’t still be walking this earth.

As I grow older, I relinquish more and more of my desire to see my life go in a certain direction. I see that the harder I try, the worse things get. These days find me giving up on a lot of things I once thought I could accomplish. Perhaps a cup of tea and a good book are more important than saying yes to something I don’t want to do. Perhaps I really am learning the lessons that eternal love teaches.

I shall end this with a confession. I always thought that there would be a payoff for being a good girl, a compliant daughter or parent or spouse. There isn’t. Eternal love has no payoff. Once you see that payoffs are simply ego-driven, you begin to see more clearly. I am learning the final lesson of love. It starts and ends with me. If I don’t give it to myself, it will not be there at all. Eternal love is the loom on which everything lesser is woven. I am the loom and the threads are tossed down from heaven. I pick them up and weave them into my heart. No one can ever buy this. It can only bloom in my heart in secret and in private. And from there love rushes out in spite of me. The divine plan is at work 24/7. Free of charge and available to all. Eternal love has its own way. Time has no hold on it nor should it. So return to your own self and let love bloom there. I promise you astonishment when you do.

Vicki Woodyard